I have noticed a lot of these around my house lately, even this evening on the way back from picking
up the pizzas and thai food (yup, not cooking' tonight). With each sighting I am feeling a little more hopeful, reminded a little more each time i have many wonderful things to be grateful for (yes I know that kind of sounds cliche these days). Some years ago I developed a serious anxiety condition, it came with an awful episode of PND. I have considered that the anxiety had always been there since I was a child but the PND sent it into a roaring beast that would cripple me with panic attacks, irrational fears and terrible feelings of forboding. I feel tense and sometimes very scared and insecure.
I don't talk about this on my blog due to its very very personal nature,and besides it really isn't an issue, I do feel like I am taking a reasonable risk by doing so but I have been at this cross road before and it has worked out very well. Anxiety is something that a huge proportion of the population experiences at some point in their lives, so I am guessing this post is going to be read by at least one of that group.
Things in my life a pretty darn good, especially lately. My family is going great guns and what problems do arise Mr G and I tackle and usually come up with a plan that yields positive outcomes. I am healthy - probably a little too healthy now that i look at my big bum! And that's a thing too, I don't seem to beat myself up like I used for being "fat and ugly" (pretty mean to me wasn't I?). We have a lovely home, in a lovely pocket. My job is a constant source of challenge, inspiration and joy. I have lovely friends, I create, Mr G and I are still in love after 20 something years, we have plenty to eat, fresh water to drink. We have choice in our lives and want for nothing. I blog, I read , I craft. Things are pretty good.
So why do I feel like the sky is falling and I must get to the king to let him know? ( I used to joke that I was like Henny Penny when my anxiety would kick in - poor Mr G suffered a lot of stressing at him due to me catastrophising about stuff).
Lately I have that Henny Penny feeling again.
I haven't taken medication for this for a very long time. I have managed it with exercise, diversion, meditation, mindfulness exercises and relying on the fact that i am loved no matter what. It really has been present for a long time, but I know it lurks and on occasion rears its ugly head.
Boy, it can be hard sometimes. This week I had an experience that really played on my insecurities, caused me a deal of worry and jolted my levels of anxiety over the line from healthy to boarding on danger. So whilst I haven't dropped into the depths of panic attacks and obsessive worry, I am putting an action plan together and implement it soon. I work with people who struggle with their mental health daily, I collaborate with them to develop their Recovery Plans...it would seem that my talk is about to become my walk.
I must act now, I am seeing the signs and feeling anxious tension creep back into my body and being.
Miss Prudence says "no" to that.
So I guess this topic is going to take up some space in my blogging in the next little while (little I hope). So I would be grateful if anyone has advice or would like to share their experiences, to pop in and leave me a comment.
Happy days bloggers,