Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Recovery Step 1

Renewal (spring pose) by Andrew Zeutzius

It is Wednesday. First week of step one.

In my line of work, we view the term "Recovery " as something much deeper, stronger that just getting better.  It truly is a journey, an opportunity to really search, examine and make dreams a reality.
It is about taking control of your life, believing you can, knowing you can.

In the coming months I will be embracing this process and sharing it on my blog - don't worry 
I will be mixing it up with craft and domestic offerings to keep it usual. 

I am crocheting a heap of these this year for brooches for the school's mother's day stall. 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A lovely award

Aren't awards lovely? I have been very flattered to get 2 awards this year, one from Bron at Taylor Made - which unfortunately came at a time where I just didn't have time to honour it in a timely manner. Bron - I totally appreciated that award and it made me feel very good : )  And today one from the lovely Catherine. Thank you both my friends for thinking of me. xx

* colour - red, green and blue - what the heck, I love all colours but seem to wear a lot of black!
* animal - Harry the crazy caboodle, Syd the rabbit
* non- alcoholic drink - tea, coffee, chai, pepsi max, ginger beer
* facebook or twitter - Facebook
* getting or giving presents - love to give, wrap and choose
* flower - pretty much all flower, but especially white roses
* pattern - polka dots!
* passion - craft, social justice and my kids
* number - 9

Sunday, March 25, 2012

How to get well. Step 1

As you know i work in mental health, more specifically I 
am a recovery worker. I help people develop recovery plans and achieve the
goals that they set out for themselves.

So it was a feeling of stupidity I had when I sat down this morning and actually had to think
what do I do now, how do I fix this thing.

Yesterday was such a bad day. My stress levels were high and it did not help that I had 
a child with me that just wanted to argue every point. We went to watch the Tullster play in his basketball grand final, it was very exciting but this child didn't want to be there and due to his constant need for debating me, I nearly missed Tully being presented his medal ( yes they won by 1 point! Nail biting affair!)...Then it was off to Maccas for a team lunch, another noisy environment. Anxiety climbing. It was horrible, I was finding it very hard to be in a moment that should of been very enjoyable, instead I wanted to scream . So I kept it in, kept my lid on and it was so very uncomfortable, yet I smiled through it.

Finally at home, I went the easiest dinner option without resorting to take away.
I found it almost impossible to wait for the pasta to boil. 
Mr G was driving back from Canberra - so I was mulling over the "what if's" and worrying like the proverbial wart.
I will confess that I succumbed to a few vinos which made me feel way too sleepy. I so should of known better, in the long run drinking alcohol is one of the worst things for anxiety.

I went to bed at 8pm with the kids.

I woke at 2am. Damn. This is never good and only worsens my anxiety. This not good,
after all this time my generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) seems to be back in full swing.
This is a real shock to me, the last time I was struck with this was when things were really bad, lots of life  dramas, you know the big stuff like death, birth, moving etc . 
But at the moment my life is good, really good. All is stable happy and loving. This seems so unfair....but it is my reality at the moment and I cannot stick my head in the sand, I know where this can lead and I am sure I don't want to go there nor do I want to take my family there.

So today I commit to my own "recovery plan".

Step 1. What is important to me? What are my values? What do I actually want in my life?

Step 1 will take a while. I really need to develop this thoroughly and it will be ongoing. 

In the meantime I will be employing these few strategies this week.

1. Breathing - so simple i know, I will taking more notice of my breathing. I know I am a shallow breather and I hold my breath often. So I will be taking more notice of my breathing.

2. I am going to exercise 3 times this week. I know this really helps and I have been a total slob lately, so good reason to get moving.

3. I am going to enjoy what I am doing. I am going to take time to really look at my people, drink in their beauty.

Three things, nothing much more. Three things, not overloading myself.

Friday, March 23, 2012

I have noticed a lot of these around my house lately, even this evening on the way back from picking 
up the pizzas and thai food (yup, not cooking' tonight).  With each sighting I am feeling a little more hopeful, reminded a little more each time i have many wonderful things to be grateful for (yes I know that kind of sounds cliche these days). Some years ago I developed a serious anxiety condition, it came with an awful episode of PND. I have considered that the anxiety had always been there since I was a child but the PND sent it into a roaring beast that would cripple me with panic attacks, irrational fears and terrible feelings of forboding. I feel tense and sometimes very scared and insecure.

I don't talk about this on my blog due to its very very personal nature,and besides it really isn't an issue, I do feel like I am taking a reasonable risk by doing so but I have been at this cross road before and it has worked out very well. Anxiety is something that a huge proportion of the population experiences at some point in their lives, so I am guessing this post is going to be read by at least one of that group.

Things in my life a pretty darn good, especially lately. My family is going great guns and what problems do arise Mr G and I tackle and usually come up with a plan that yields positive outcomes. I am healthy - probably a little too healthy now that i look at my big bum! And that's a thing too, I don't seem to beat myself up like I used for being "fat and ugly" (pretty mean to me wasn't I?). We have a lovely home, in a lovely pocket. My job is a constant source of challenge, inspiration and joy. I have lovely friends, I create, Mr G and I are still in love after 20 something years, we have plenty to eat, fresh water to drink. We have choice in our lives and want for nothing. I blog, I read , I craft. Things are pretty good.

So why do I feel like the sky is falling and I must get to the king to let him know? ( I used to joke that I was like Henny Penny when my anxiety would kick in - poor Mr G suffered a lot of stressing at him due to me catastrophising about stuff).

Lately I have that Henny Penny feeling again.
I haven't taken medication for this for a very long time. I have managed it with exercise, diversion, meditation, mindfulness exercises and relying on the fact that i am loved no matter what. It really has been present for a long time, but I know it lurks and on occasion rears its ugly head.

Boy, it can be hard sometimes. This week I had an experience that really played on my insecurities, caused me a deal of worry and jolted my levels of anxiety over the line from healthy to boarding on danger.  So whilst I haven't dropped into the depths of panic attacks and obsessive worry, I am putting an action plan together and implement it soon.  I work with people who struggle with their mental health daily, I collaborate with them to develop their Recovery would seem that my talk is about to become my walk. 
I must act now, I am seeing the signs and feeling anxious tension creep back into my body and being. 
Miss Prudence says "no" to that. 

So I guess this topic is going to take up some space in my blogging in the next little while (little I hope). So I would be grateful if anyone has advice or would like to share their experiences, to pop in and leave me a comment.  

Happy days bloggers,

Miss P

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Colour my world in



solar lanterns


Miss M's tunic dress

Drink bottle

hand soap

wicked ipod cover


knitted brooch

pantry purple

be safe be purple

geisha girl blossom


accessorize in purple

Mr G's chenille shorts

Mr G's paisley shirt

Mr G's striped purple number

more purple stripes

Mr G wins with the most purple

Friday, March 16, 2012

13 part II

Our Ango woke up yesterday a teen. He is so very happy to be a teen. Being a teen means many new things, most notably is when one starts to make independent choices.  Our teen will take me out to "choose" his birthday gift rather than have me or his Dad surprise him.  Okay i can live with this, kind of!

So Angus woke up to gifts and him being my very own "wild thing" - a "Where the Wild Things Are" inspired cake and a huge happy birthday banner. Being a teen now, mature and all that, he humoured me and played along! I guess some surprise presses helped too!

There is always a critic!  Likenesses were examined and I am pleased to 
report that my cake passed inspection and deemed worthy of its very famous book
that is sacred text in our home! So not bad for a cake made at midnight!

Thursday, March 15, 2012


and I am speechless. Happy (too soon) 13th birthday beautiful boy xx

It has been perfect xx

Monday, March 12, 2012

Well I decided to stay in birthday mode a bit longer than the regulation 24hours, it was a long weekend so heck, why not make the most of it!  So on Saturday we all went out shopping in the city areas, had lunch in Lygon Street Carlton and hit Smith St Collingwoods'` Converse shop where our youngest two managed to swindle us for a small fortune's worth of gear....No probs though, I am simply made of money and I love seeing them wear crazy bright sneakers and hey, the 3 hundred basketballs at our house needed the company.

On the way home I purchased yet another treat I buy myself on my birthday because no one else will.

Which meant I could be rightfully selfish and not share

Sunday I we went to Camberwell Market. This Market is well frequented by folk getting rid of their own personal stuff and second hand dealers making a living. It has traditionally been a good market. I was disappointed by the attitude of many dealers, rude and charging outrageous prices. I shunned them all, voted with my feet. I hate being ripped off and I hate rudeness.

But I did pick up a few bargains from people bringing their "garage sale" to the markets like 

A sweet old basket and a crystal bowl, $5 each. In your face 
stuck up woman wanting $50 for a  most similar bowl!
Mr G's Grandmother always put potato salad in a crystal bowl 
on the summer dinner table - I used to like that and now I will too.

Today is Monday and a public holiday here in Victoria. 
It feels like Sunday and it has been oh so lazy - sitting crocheting
getting up only to check the casserole.

This was my lazy extended Birthday weekend. How was your weekend?

Friday, March 9, 2012

Happy Birthday Barbie, we are another year older

As you may remember, I share my birthday with Barbie, she is older than me - that is important to know.

Well today I turned another year older.

My family gave me a wonderful card, a lovely ELK necklace and some DVDs - yeah first season of Cougar Town!  

I then headed out for Breakfast with to lovely friends who bought me breakfast (oh Salmon stack with potato rosti, poached egg and balsamic mayo over rocket leaves!!! I hunger for you so!). I was spoilt with lovely gifts there too!

Then I treated myself to a pedicure, manicure and eye brow reshape, then a spot of Op shopping where I scored a Charlie Brown dress for $6, an unusual black dress $9 and a skirt $6!! 

Then it was home to watch a DVD and eat some burnished fig gelato left in the freezer by my lovely family whom i joined in dining out for thai food!

Best Birthday Yet!  I wonder what Barbie did today?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

More on the Me Change


Recently, in the last few weeks, I have started Yoga classes.
Uhuh, I have. Not only have I knocked something off my "bucket list" and 
the 2012 "to do" list ( I have numerous lists you see) I have move forward on the old
"Me Change" Project - you know the make me a better person lark.

I go to two different classes, with two different instructors who have 
very different styles. And you know what? I am feeling better for it.
Yep, I am feeling stronger, straighter and more chilled out. It really is
making a difference in my life, I really look forward to it too.

Do you practice yoga? 
How long for?
What style of yoga do you do?
How has it helped you?

Answer in the comments, or maybe you might post about yoga too and you can
link back to me! 

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Sometimes you need a change

Maybe even a change back to something that was good 
way back then.....

Today I went back to being a Redhead....and it feels good!