Friday, September 10, 2010

It's a dead cert

I was a smoker - big time. Loved it. Then I fell pregnant and did not smoke for 3 years. After baby number two I was wading through a dreadful time of grief and PND which took me back to my old friend the "cig-rama".  Then pregnant with #3 I stopped again.  12months later, I found myself having "stress relievers" and a smoke with the girls....So my smoking addiction was this bizarre "binge" style which even my GP thought strange - I never smoked in public, in fact I was really embarrassed about it. I could go weeks, months even without a cigarette then get with a smoker and I would light up... Finally I have stopped this tragic pattern and have now gone months and months and months without a cigarette.

Yay! I am a Non-Smoker. I now do not allow smoking on my premises (smoking indoors NEVER happened - it was a strictly outside affair).  My few smoker friends I find stinky (sorry girls if you read this - I still love you xx) and I cannot stand walking through shopping centre doorways where smokers loiter; well actually I have always despised this.   But I feel differently about me smoking now. I am no longer fearful of lighting another cigarette, I now know that I will never light another. I have experienced stress and PMS, had a few "girls nights out" with a few smokers but haven't lit up....No I just don't want to smoke.

I can't smoke ever again you see, because I have made a promise to three special people that have each expressed their personal fears about me smoking. To fail in these guys' eyes through smoking would be a fate worse than lung cancer. I love these guys and really want to see them through as much of their lives as I can.


emerson-j said...

my good mate is the same, can stop cold turkey whenever she wants, did with her pregnancies. she also could get back in the habit if stressed (sometimes just 1 a day). i told her i dont think she needs to smoke cos of this as there no cravings when she gives up...i cant talk im addicted to coke zero, and get rotten headaches when i dont have one in the afternoon!! we all have our vices lol

CurlyPops said...

Congratulations! Not being able to breathe is one of the worst things you can ever experience (mine has nothing to do with smoking, just some weird genetic faults I guess).
I'm very very very very glad that you've quit for good, and for the very best reason of all.

willywagtail said...

Yay for you. Way to go. They say food starts to taste better after the first couplke of years too. Love that you are doing it for your kids. Cherrie

Deb said...

You are a good mummy and I am very happy you have quit for good.
Love you

Karen said...

Good on you for having the strength to stand by what you belienve in - and you are right - they are the three best reasons you could ever find.

PaisleyJade said...

That is so awesome - especially for you kids.

p.s. my husband told me that he recently heard that it was medically proven that smoking makes your boobs sag - haha, now there's another good motivation ;)

p.p.s. although, having kids does too

Miss Prudence said...

Thanks girls...the psychological aspect of really kicking it for good and kicking out the "stress" crutch - relying on myself only has been so uplifting. I am in love with not feeling down on myself for succumbing to lighting up again...freedom!

Crochet with raymond said...

Oh how wonderful Miss Prudence! I am so glad for you... I quit smoking 5 and a half years ago just before I turned 25... at the time I was smoking 40 per day (yes really) to help me deal with anxiety... I quit cold turkey and had no cravings at the time, I think once I realised why I was doing it (e.g not feeling strong enough to live life without a crutch among other things!) I just couldn't anymore. When I get stressed I sometimes crave one, but as you know, there are other ways to deal with that!
Oh, and being that I haven't had kids, do you think smoking is why my boobs sag??? ;OP teehee YAY for you!