Monday, February 23, 2009


Well there is no point in wallowing. Life goes on, with or without me. It is heating up again in Melbourne, the country side continues to burn; people are evacuating earlier this time. We all know that there simply isn't room for anymore loss.

I am looking back at last weeks "goals". How did I do? Well this weeks' list is going to be long! I did get my arse to the gym and I did write lists. My desk is still a wreck! I have not finished my rug, let alone getting on with the next. My friends who are also on this Bushfire relief project are leaps ahead of me and I feel embarassed with my lack of progress.

Things are lighter here though. Garrett has been painting the hallway this weekend and after years of little people using it as a drag strip for riding wheelie toys, there was a lot of plaster missing. Poor Garrett, he was unseen by us for all of the weekend.
The result is fabulous, fresh and clean and bright. I cannot believe I ever painted red!

Our weekend was busy, so much goes on here, I find I am often stumped for words when asked " what did you do over the weekend?" Where do I begin? Miss Martha is fully getting into school. This morning she walked into our room, going straight to her Dad's "treasure box" (a box full of Dad's boyhood treasures that include whales' teeth, snake skins, shark eggs, sheep horns etc) "I need some show and tell" she says. I suggest something of hers. "No, it was to be an ssssssssss word. I am taking this snakeskin". She marches out again. So matter of fact, woman on a mission. School has provided no obstacle to our girl.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Organic Good

I am usually a bit ambivalent about organic stuff tasting better and providing better results BUT, my friend Jane bought me some organic cocoa from St Andrews markets recently and I have used it for cooking as I didn't think it tasted very nice as a drink- needed way too much sugar to improve taste Well! The colour difference is amazing and the taste-woooowwwweeeeee!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Finally, a word about the fires....

This picture was taken at Mount Macedon in Victoria. I think it is fitting with the need for faith at the moment.

Thank you to everyone who has inquired about our safety. We had so many nervous calls from Canberra (who all know that bush ridden suburbs can burn). I have had many emails wondering why nothing is on my blog about it as there are so many pictures of the fires. Well, firstly I actually do have a heap of posts written up in the draft box. But I opted not to post them as I prefer blog with positivity and humour. This is my "happy" place LOL. Recent blogs have been to keep my mind off things and i guess look a bit bit mundane,but really; who wants to blog all their personal drama? How depressing!

We are OK thank God. Being so close to the fire affected area has been quite dramatic and we have been involved in a lot a frenetic activity related. We had some awful news this week with the late identifications. There has been a lot of grief around here and it is hard not to enter into some collective of community grief as the six, five, four, three etc degrees of separation kick in. The up side is that the councils of Nillimbk, Banyule and Whittlesea have really connected, as has the whole of Victoria and virtually the rest of Auatralia. People have really come together and I am noticing a level of patience amongst the community that seems to have settled in. Less horn honking, snarling at supermarket checkouts, bank queues even. I am hearing people say how proud they are of being Australian and I can't help hoping that God is looking down and saying "that's it kids, see it isn't hard to get along. I am really proud of you" (ok so I have a very candid view / dialogue with the Big Guy!).

I am very tired this week, my head really isn't on right. I have been doing dopey things and just can't focus on stuff, let alone make anything (this post is killing me with presentation of grammatic challenge!). I did attempt to buy some fabric on ebay this but it went pear shaped (I can't believe I bid twice of what I wanted to pay doh!) and ended up with a Ebay seller having a hissy was pretty awful actually, I get shocked at mean, miserable, self centred people. She probably is finding it tough in the current economic climate to survive so I won't think mean things about her and just as Vickie would say "chalk it up". But the sellers' reaction to my "doh! sorry" was unbalanced to say the least. But enough of that, just won't be buying from her again! I also failed in buying petrol (thankfully Raj at the servo was amused and gave me a hand!), I cooked something in the microwave, that failed too : no power activated, hmmmm. Fear not, there are some things I have maintained a level of excellence, eating is up there and I had better start failing REAL soon!

I am keen to just keep things "situation normal". But I am finding the fact that we (a few gals from school) are collecting suits and garb for funerals challenges this. Some of the tasks are really needed but feel a tad macabre and like every parent at the moment, I am dealing with a massive amount of question about death, heaven and burns. Wow, we really could d with a manual couldn't we

On the making side, given my brain isn't working, I have taken to making granny square rugs in groovy colors for some young teenage girls (big girls like snuggle rugs too). And I am making up some mini stash boxes for crafter that lost all their stashes in the fires. Craft is an amazing thing, we craft at different times and for different reasons to create, keep busy, keep happy, to keep our minds off
things that may be worrying. I am sure this is a time for crafting to keep one's mind off things.

So if anyone wants to respond to a fellow crafter, I think this is a wonderful idea. Anyone have ideas for specific contents? WOuld love to hear from you!

I hope that answers everyone's questions about how we are doing re fires. Will talk to you dear family about things this week xxxxx.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Winton books

I read this book whilst at the beach. I had already read another Tim Winton book (The Turning) and was keen to read another. The gorgeous woman at the bookshop in Victor Harbour SA, recommended this one. Well, I was smitten! Couldn't put it down. This week I finished Dirt Music, which I am afraid will not be my favourite Winton novel. That being said, I stayed with the book as Winton was taking me on a journey. A journey which he led with colourful and beautifully crafted writing. He is truly a gifted writer. Thank you Tim, I will read on through your list of works.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

On platform 2 the next train to or you'll miss it!

I can't move. I am stuck. I have no motivation what so ever to exercise, start anything, make cards, finish projects, bake or clean.
I am wandering aimlessly lamenting at the tasks that need my immediate attention. I still feeling miserable alone during the week, missing my girl, feeling very lost and un-needed.

Again I am planning to start fresh this week. I have decided to seek work that is more constant, casual is good but I need something more. So 2009 begins and it is back to my lists. Have I mentioned that I am a chronic list maker? I am. I have lists for my lists! So the next seven days:

* apply for a part time job that I found.

*tidy my work desk

*start an assignment

*get ass to the gym

* finish my granny square rug

*finish my skirt

*put the house back into order

*write lists

Yep time to bite the bullet and get on with things...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

School Friends

This is Barry. Barry is Martha's main bear, Tinkerbell (also a bear) is next and Rosie (babydoll) also feature strongly in her world.
Barry accompanied Martha to school this week, he remained patiently in her bag in case she needed comfort, hugs or a chat during the day. According to Martha he enjoyed himself and was so impressed he spoke in "bear", his native tongue, rather than English, the common language between them. Martha told me she did get worried and he cuddled her, so the discomfort of being stuffed into a school bag was well worth it. Martha took charge of my camera a few days ago (unbeknown to me) and went photo crazy! I was quite surprised when a uploaded my camera onto iphotos and found heaps of images from Martha's perspective. Interesting actually and very sweet.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I guess if I have actually put a list 2009 goals, so lets far I have seen a moive that is not in cartoon form or made by Disney / Pixar. I have read 2 books and nearly finished a third. I have made all birthday presents thus far (a whole 2!)
So I plan for Feb to :

- see another movie
-lose a kg or two
-start running again
-save $200 towards a water tank
-paint my hallway and finally
-finish another module off my course.
- make three things at least!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Second day of term

My Angus painted this in grade 1, I still love it.

Ok, so today: I drop off the kids. Martha is already organised; she knows her hook for her bag, she hands over her notice that had to be filled in last night, she is off with other little girls. No goodbye today. I leave and proceed to my netball game. I arrived late and receive a hero's welcome (at this point they are 3 short and it is killing them). I wave triumphantly and begin to run my legs off and wow, it is noticeable after two months of slothful living. The game ends, not sure if we won, I think we did. We retreat to the YMCA coffee lounge and catch up for about an hour and then go.

Now this leaves the rest of the day. I decide to see a movie matinee. I go see Marley and Me (such a sweet movie, now I am fretting about our dog: have I spent enough quality time with him?). I get a latte, go to the new Coles supermarket at this shopping centre I collect ingredients to make a worthy meal for my people. Kangaroo (sustainable meat), some snags (not all of us eat roo), fresh pinapple, fetta cheese, cherry tomatoes and some celery (snacks). Pick up kids, can't wait to see them, feeling exicted, I head to the school. "Oh yeah, hi Mum". Next stop: ballet lessons....snacks, etc

So, this was my day. I am now sitting, cagged out in my arm chair, experiencing alternating waves of fatigue (ahhh netball, my ankles feel stiff) and contempt (for all of those individuals who have failed to see my genius and unmet ,well maybe by mother teresa, degree of nurturing)....oh yeah, no one liked dinner grrrrrrrrrrr.

Yes friends, I am in a bad zone. Anyway, here is my yellow for the day.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Yellow of the day

Here is the dress that inspired the yellow shoe purchase. Well a gals' gotta accessorise!

Crocheted Scarf

I made this whilst on holiday and today I finally wove the threads and finished it off properly. I made it out of odd balls I had in one of my stash baskets. It is going to be a goal of mine to use up LOTS of stuff I have laying around.

It's just me and the dog

Today Martha went to school.
I woke her gently and she woke up joking it was time to go back to sleep, grabbed Barry (he was going too) and headed off for some breakfast. I made the bed and moved the already laid out uniform etc to the bed. Breakfast was a chatty affair, everyone in good spirits. All washed up, Martha then donned the uniform, giggling nervously she eagerly pulled socks and shoes on. I only had to do her plaits and then she would be theirs, reluctantly I did her hair. Martha views herself in the mirror, sooooo proud of herself! I don't want her to go, I hug her and then pull myself together. I am being stupid, I'll give her reason to fret and then she'll be upset on this special day.

Outside, assembly for traditional "first day" photos with Dad and Mummy and "the brothers" as she likes to call them (my mother laughs and says this sound like part of the Irish Mafia and given some of the colourful folk that feature in her Irish heritage, I can detect a note of disapproval! LOL) takes place. We head to school.

Tully holds her hand and leads her to the Junior school end, we lag behind taking photos. We find the room and meet Ms Borg. Ms Borg is beautiful and young and you just know is going to be kind. We hand over Martha. We follow in behind and watch Martha settle in. "Bye" she simply says, I force a kiss out of her but Daddy gets the big hug and kiss, I silently fume at that. And we go..

Just like that. School now has her days not me. I haven't cried, yet. I'll try not to. I'll be brave. I try not to think of "them" having my baby.

Two hours later: I'm so lonely! It's just me and the dog and he doesn't ask for anything.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

yellow backlog clearing

I didn't post anything yesterday, I had to work and boy is yellow hard to come by in my house!
But I did find something today to make up for it. Yellow shoes?! I think I have worn them once, I kinda feel self conscious in them.

Today I have spent the day sweating and sewing and zoning out in disbelief that I am sewing an art smock for my baby, for school. School! I feel like am losing time so quickly, Angus is 10 this year!!!!!!! I really AM feeling strange, and so fearful of becoming un-needed. I realise I have a few years yet of hands on parenting, but the first ten years has gone so fast I actually feel fearful. I keep asking myself " did I spend enough time with them?" " Have I put enough effort in" this is such a trip of emotion....Well I will post tomorrow are tell you all about it if I can type through the shakes and tears!!!


A sunflower in my garden. Had to grab this one quick before it followed the rest of the garden. 45 degree heat and water restrictions have my lovely garden be scorched into nothing. Even my succulents are gone! So sad,but I just can't waste water when places are trucking it in to drink.